What’s My Passion?
Kenny Chesney, country mega-star, recently took a year off from touring and performing on stage. In an interview with “Parade” magazine he tells why: “I felt I had lost my center…I was standing onstage and I felt like I wanted to be somewhere else…it all just felt like a blank page. It was beginning to seem mechanical…music has to be about the heart and soul.”
In other words, he had lost his passion. Now that’s something I can relate to.
The Oxford American Dictionary defines passion as…strong emotion, great enthusiasm for something. At Montrose Christian Writers Conference I heard over and over, “write with passion. Write your passion.”
So what’s my passion? At this season of my life, I’m not sure. When I was a child, security was my passion. I was easily frightened. Even the annual 4th of July fireworks were not fun for me. I didn’t like the loud noise and I covered my head with a pillow to drown out the sound.
In my adolescent years I looked to relationships to find security. After I married and had children, my family became my reason for living. The years passed and our children outgrew the nest, causing me to flounder again, in search of a new identity, a new passion.
I was still shy and uncertain about myself. God, however, was working behind the scene, orchestrating events until I was ready to face the real issue behind my fears—childhood sexual abuse. Through a period of recovery and working closely with my pastor, I began to understand a lot about myself, including why it was so difficult for me to trust and to try new ventures.
My passion became emotional health and healing. I kept a journal that I read to my pastor and also to my support group. I wrote with passion because I was living what I wrote about. Group members related to what I was writing and were encouraged by my words.
One day I wrote a piece entitled, “Who Am I?” By the end of the piece I knew who I was. I was a child of God. Through my relationship with Him I found the freedom from fear I had sought all my life. I became passionate about helping others find this freedom, perhaps through my writing.
I pursued this goal for a few years and tried to find an editor or publisher who agreed with my vision. Eventually that dream wore out, and along with it, my desire to write.
Kenny Chesney took time off from his music to find his passion again. He reconnected with his family and hometown in east Tennessee. During that time he produced a documentary about the impact of high school football, The Boys of Fall, which will air on ESPN this fall. He said, “Football emulates life. You get knocked down–but it’s how you get up and handle it that’s important.”
So I’m getting up again. I don’t know what new passion I’ll discover to write about, but I’ve asked God to renew my vision and desire to write. I’m curious to see how He will answer my prayer.